Return to Resolve

Gosh,  It's been years sine the last time I opened Blogger.  There was a time, when I had one baby, I moved far away from home, and I started a blog to help occupy my time.  That little blog helped me form a community among other moms who I truly believed help easy my home sickness and helped me mature and "grow up" if you will.  That blog helped me earn a little income from reviewing products and gave me something to look forward to doing each day.

Fast forward 13 years.  I now have 3 kids..  I went back to work.  That little community and blog that I built are no more (except for some friends that were made that I do keep up with on other platforms).  However, I think about that blog all of the time.  It was so much more that a place to write down my thoughts.  It helped me learn about myself.  It helped with coping through difficult circumstances.  It allowed me a freedom that is difficult to describe.  It helped me learn new things.  I got to be creative.  It was something that was just mine and somewhere to be vulnerable and not be scared.  

As I said, I think about that blog all of the time.  I wish I hadn't deleted it... it pains my heart.  To be able to go back and read those words would mean so much to me.  I feel that nostalgic pull, and I like to think that younger me back then would be so proud of me now and I know I would look back at her with different eyes than the ones she saw herself with...

I used to think in terms of "some day" and "one day".  I still do.  However, with it being the time of year when so many of us think about what we resolve to do, I had the thought that so many of us probably think this time of year, too:  Why do we wait until January 1st?  Why not find resolve in being?

And here we are.  Why not live life happy where you (I) are (am) while making strides to other goals as well?  There are so many things I can relate this to, but for right now the simplest thing is this blog.

In my mind:  Why bother?  It surely isn't the same as it was all of those years ago.  How am I going to post anything when I haven't "built" and "customized" the space yet?  

Also in my mind:  Why?  Because of all of those things you had mentioned, lady!  It will help you cope.  I will help you learn.  It will help you find joy.  It will help you create.  If anything, it will be a place that is your own for your thoughts.  Will I have as much time as I did with just one baby, no job, and no real commitments?  Absolutely not.  But will it be something I look forward to when I can carve out the time? Absolutely.

It I'm honest, I wish this experience would turn into what it was for me.  The world has changed.  Social media is obviously so different now.  But here's hoping that in addition to some of the intrinsic hopes I have for this blog that I can regain some of the connections made, too.

So here goes.  I have not touched the template.  I haven't designed anything.  I hate the way this will look, but I am not letting that stop me.  I am resolving that this is what I can do today and that is better than putting it off because it is not quite what I want it to be.  And that's how I want to live the days this year.  I don't want o write off an entire day because I didn't start it the "right" way or the way that it should be in my mind.  I can always do something in that moment to change the course.

I'm going to do my best to think that way.  I'm going to do my best to Resolve In Being.  Happy New Year!